Today the Earth was still.
No pots to release into the wild so made do with envy.
Blood vesicles slightly achy today mostly on the left side.
Chowder.
No pots to release into the wild so made do with envy.
Blood vesicles slightly achy today mostly on the left side.
Chowder.
posted by:
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Re: Diary
Sat, April 7, 2007 - 10:22 PMa man wearing a suit made out of toast jumped out of a 23rd story window.
he fell butter-side down.
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Re: Diary
Sun, April 8, 2007 - 4:26 AM...and according to our Weather Correspondent, Uncle Jim, the weather today will be slightly florrid will a slight chance of ignonimity, with increasing rodent-related flatulence toward mid-evening. -
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Re: Diary
Tue, April 10, 2007 - 10:42 AMPVC Sherman Oaks, 24, stationed at Ridge Point Army Base in Virginia, suffered 2nd degree burns over 90% of his body in an accident during a training exercise involving a new microwave beam weapon in testing phase by the Pentagon. Private Oaks was covered in butter by military medics on the scene. At that point, Rush Limbaugh, who was an invited press observer to the weapon test, exclaimed "Wow, he smells just like popcorn!" and ate Private Oaks, who did not survive. Limbaugh was released on his own recognizance shortly after the incident. -
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Re: Diary
Thu, April 12, 2007 - 4:47 AMAn elephant in hand is worth three in the bush. -
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Re: Diary
Thu, April 12, 2007 - 5:42 PM... yet, how that elephant fit into my pajamas I'll never know... -
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Re: Diary
Thu, April 12, 2007 - 8:34 PM- Woke up covered in apples today. Hungry.
- I think my hair has stopped growing. Can't be sure without a proper stethoscope. Will talk to my banker about it tomorrow. -
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Re: Diary
Sun, April 15, 2007 - 10:50 AMi think a plumber might be more apropos.
i only call my banker whenever my shaving soap begins to taste like salmon.
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Re: Diary
Sun, April 15, 2007 - 12:00 PMTry a McRuggles Fine Medium TODAY!
...it's light, it's tasty, it's refreshing, and it's PLAID! -
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Re: Diary
Mon, April 16, 2007 - 12:10 PMogden's nut gone flake - ask for it in the can! -
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Re: Diary
Fri, April 20, 2007 - 7:09 AMlake diary is not gone...but cannot be retrieved.
viva la france! -
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Re: Diary
Fri, April 20, 2007 - 8:13 PMIs there someone in this room with me? -
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Re: Diary
Sat, April 21, 2007 - 1:07 AMAlas, it is not so. I suggest to you that it is nothing but a Fig Newton of your imagination.
(...although I have always been rather fond of Pecan Sandies, myself.)
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Re: Is there someone in this room with me?
Sat, April 21, 2007 - 1:59 PMIs there someone in this room with me? -
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Re: Is there someone in this room with me?
Sat, April 21, 2007 - 9:25 PMCharlize Theron and an ice cream cake. -
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Re: Is there someone in this room with me?
Mon, April 23, 2007 - 9:38 PMwhenever i see "charlize theron" i see it as "charley's therion", which would be a show about a disembodied voice on a speakerbox named charley with three svelte satanists in his employ. -
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Re: Is there someone in this room with me?
Tue, April 24, 2007 - 1:27 PM -
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This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.
Re: Is there someone in this room with me?
Tue, April 24, 2007 - 4:43 PMGlass Onion.
Plastic Bacon.
Paper Mache Mushrooms.
Served over Rubber Chicken Fried Steak.
...it's the Blue Plate Special at Dino's Bar & Grill, Tuesdays, $3.95.
(drink included) -
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ermine teacup
Tue, April 24, 2007 - 9:41 PMtoday:
posted a hat at "Anarchism" tribe. responded to comments with kravats.
planted a blue rose in the garbage.
ate some smoke-a-ronis then felt depressed.
set a laundromat on fire.
my sofa is lonely, so i gave it a blanket of peat moss. -
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Re: ermine teacup
Thu, April 26, 2007 - 2:52 AMum... is there someone in this room with me?! -
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Re: ermine teacup
Thu, April 26, 2007 - 7:33 AMYes! Why, there's Ernest Borgnine eating a bowl of blue borscht. -
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Re: ermine teacup
Thu, April 26, 2007 - 4:16 PM"the importance of being borgnine" by oscar the viking is one of the great 23rd century plays of the last millenium.
the costumes made of raw meat were exquisite, as were the stage sets built of flan.
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Re: Diary
Fri, April 27, 2007 - 2:08 AM...well, Your Honor, the defense *would* rest, but they're kinda jacked up on double cappuccinos at the moment... -
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Re: Diary
Fri, April 27, 2007 - 2:48 PMToday, drank Mountain Dew.
Yesterday, drank Drippings From Ceiling. -
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Re: Diary
Fri, April 27, 2007 - 4:47 PMLast night: visited by ghost of Tristan Tzara. First erotic experience with spirit. Not bad. Also his pockets. -
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Re: Diary
Fri, April 27, 2007 - 10:14 PMas evening fell, the noise frightened the polecat; had to remove from pants.
gadji beri bimba clandridi lauli lonni cadori gadjam a bim beri glassala glandride e glassala tuffm i zimbra. -
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Re: Diary
Sun, April 29, 2007 - 3:56 PMThere is, in fact, some academic controversy as to whether or not some sublimely cutesy mythological creatures such as unicorns and faeries actually do fart. Many say not. Others say that the cute quotient forms an inverse ratio to the noxious toxicity of said emissions. Much like babies. Yes, babies are very cute, but the stink of a strained-peas-and-carrots fart from one of the little darlings can in fact cause the dog to leave the house for three days.
Conclusion; in my own academic opinion, it would be unwise to feed to either small babies or faeries such things as would cause intestinal gas. -
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Re: Diary
Sun, April 29, 2007 - 9:44 PMfolded space.
traversed the trackless reaches of a pocket handkerchief.
had a dream that lloyd bridges and grace jones were making love in my closet; woke up with a bed full of eggplants. -
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Re: Diary
Tue, May 1, 2007 - 6:18 PMThe grace of an eggplant is subliminal. The grace of a bridge, however, is sublime. -
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Re: Diary
Tue, May 1, 2007 - 8:25 PMa bridge is a puck
a puck is a cough
a cough is a tray
a tray is a grace
a grace is a nail
a cough is a claw
a tray is a fang
a bridge is a tusk -
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This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.
Re: Diary
Wed, May 2, 2007 - 12:53 AMAnd then there was the what-ya-ma-thingy that, um, oh crap, you know, that THING ...?
... um ...
... err ...
(...oh goddammit, I forgot my line!!!) -
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Re: Diary
Fri, May 4, 2007 - 8:35 PM
[this space left blank for didactic purposes]
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Re: Diary
Wed, May 9, 2007 - 12:59 PM...And Theron Tlax is the winner!!!!!!!!
you and your family will enjoy a six month cruise inside a toilet carved of solid emerald through the deepest reaches of outer space, courtesy of Error 404 Getaways. enjoy the journey, and don't forget to send postcards by meteorite!
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Re: Diary
Thu, May 10, 2007 - 2:38 PMNo, No, A Thousand Times, NO!
...what? There will be ice cream served afterward? Well, then, THAT'S different. My answer is Yes. -
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Re: Diary
Thu, May 10, 2007 - 3:15 PMTreatment options for children and adolescents with ADHD include medication, psychotherapy, behavioral therapy, and social skills training. There are times when the entire family of a child with ADHD can benefit from medication, psychotherapy, behavioral therapy, and social skills training. If a child with ADHD also has anxiety or depression, a treatment combining ice cream and candy might be best. -
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Re: Diary
Fri, May 11, 2007 - 9:13 AMpersonally, i think i'd benefit a lot more from trying on a peacock blue turban. -
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Re: Diary
Fri, May 11, 2007 - 9:02 PMHitler: My dog has no nose!
The Audience Crowd: Then how does he smell?
Hitler: Awful! -
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Re: Diary
Sun, May 20, 2007 - 6:05 PMMy blender has run out of buttons. I must make due with these seven red stones, plucked from the eye of a mongoose. -
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Re: Diary
Sun, May 20, 2007 - 9:05 PMTake care to pluck the mountain from thine own eye first, then the stones from thy neighbor's eye.
Lessed are the bleak, for they shall inherit the mirth.
Neither allow or or a blender be. -
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Re: Diary
Mon, May 21, 2007 - 8:16 AMWhat a coincidence! My gender has run out of functions. -
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Re: Diary
Mon, May 21, 2007 - 4:51 PMit just so happens that there are no coincidences.
just as it goes without saying that there are no unspoken understandings.
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Re: Diary
Tue, May 22, 2007 - 3:43 AMThoughts become words.
Words become actions.
Actions become habits.
Oversized habits have a tendancy to lift skinny little nuns off the ground when the breezes are stiff.
And THAT'S the time to look up the airborne nun's skirt and see some truly unseen wonders! -
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Re: Diary
Tue, May 22, 2007 - 7:48 AMthat must be the "nun of the above" i've been hearing so much about -
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Re: Diary
Thu, October 25, 2007 - 6:57 PMi cant belive that. I doubt it professly. i speak to it w/ mouth.
fasttune fasttime ferocious fecundity
bad poetry
smelly clamor
fastidious flexibility
please allow me to introdouche myself
i am so out of hear
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